When Busy Feels Like Safe: How We Use Overwork to Avoid Our Emotions
- Beth Tellez
- Jul 27
- 2 min read
Ever notice how it’s easier to focus on the never-ending to-do list than to sit quietly with your feelings? For a lot of us, busyness is more than just a habit—it’s a defense mechanism. When we’re always “on,” we don’t have to deal with what’s underneath the hustle. It's effective, until it's not.
Why We Stay Busy
Avoidance: Constant activity keeps uncomfortable feelings—like grief, anger, or shame—at arm’s length. Busy can be a tool to avoid our emotions.
Validation: Being busy can feel like proof that we’re valuable or worthy.
Control: When life feels messy, focusing on tasks can make us feel like we’re in charge of something. Controlling the controllables. Sound familiar?
The Hidden Costs of Busy
Burnout: Chronic stress and exhaustion don’t lead to better work—they lead to feeling numb.
Disconnection: Overworking can isolate us from the very people we’re trying to take care of.
Emotional Stuckness: Constant busyness keeps us from feeling, processing, and healing.
How to Break the Cycle of Using Busy to Avoid Our Emotions
Get Honest: Notice when you’re using work as a shield. Are you truly busy, or are you avoiding something deeper?
Schedule Stillness: Start small—five minutes of quiet. Let the discomfort be there. It may not be comfortable at first, but it won't hurt you.
Name the Feelings: What are you avoiding? Naming emotions takes away some of their power.
Connect: Reach out to someone safe. Connection helps us feel less alone in our experience.
It’s Okay to Slow Down
Your worth isn’t measured by your output. You’re allowed to be still. You’re allowed to feel. You’re allowed to let go of the need to prove your value through busyness.
If you’re feeling stuck in the hustle and unsure how to start letting go, therapy can help you explore what’s driving the busyness—and how to find rest and relief.
Reach out. Because rest is not a luxury—it’s a right. Info@creativenwa.com
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